The world of dating can be confusing, difficult, and just plain hard to figure out. There are so many rules that go unsaid and traditions that go unspoken. There are secret meanings to practically everything you do and, as a guy, it can be exponentially hard to decipher. We’re not used to reading into things and picking apart how a word was said or a sentence was structured. These are things that women do on a daily basis and it seems to give them the upper hand in the dating game. They know what the codes mean and how to use them. While we may not understand what they’re trying to convey with subtle signals and gestures, we can begin to learn about them and use that knowledge to our advantage. If we can gain an understanding of how they think, even a little bit, we can start to ensure that we’re sending the right signals. This gives us just a tiny bit of control, but it’s a good way to start to feel more in charge of our own dating lives. Take a look at our personals test and read our online dating site review to learn more about dating. Read our Canadian personals website reviews to score in Canada.
One of the first rules you should learn relates to making first impressions. As a logical thinker, you may assume that you have only one first impression to make. You would be wrong. Depending on how you meet, you can have as many as six different first impressions. That may seem a little counter intuitive, but it’s true. If you use online dating to meet up with some local Saskatoon tail, you might fall into this category. More and more people are starting to search for the ratings of dating sites with personals so that they can meet someone. It’s less traditional, sure, but it is growing in popularity at a quicker rate than you could imagine. It’s easier to find someone who shares your interests and is looking for the same kind of relationship that you are if you start looking online. At least that’s what the people putting out personals on online dating sites are saying in their comments when they begin rating the sites and how well they work. Anyway, if you’re meeting someone online you have more first impressions than you could know what to do with. Your profile gives off a first impression. Your first message gives off a first impression. The first time you IM, the first time you text, the first time you talk on the phone and, of course, the first time you actually meet in person. All of these have their own “first impression” even if that seems ridiculous. Just remember to put your best foot forward each time there’s a “first” involved and you should be alright. But let’s say you make it past all but one of the firsts and you’re ready for your first date. This one is universal, regardless of how you meet initially, and it will leave the biggest impact of any first impression.
Things to Remember
Most first date things are common sense, but there are some things, that when our nerves take over, we completely forget about until we’ve dropped her off and are on our way home. A good general rule of thumb with first dates is to be on your best behavior. You don’t want to be so well behaved that you’re not yourself anymore, but you don’t want to let it all hang out right away. Try not to burp, fart, or do anything else gross in front of her. Save that for the third date. If you want to do more than avoid making a bad impression, you want to try and do the things that your mom always tried to make you learn. You should open the door for her, offer her your coat if it’s chilly, and take her hand to help her out of your car. If you can’t remember anything else to do, pop in a chick flick and look for anything that makes the move go into slow motion or makes the music get super sappy and loud. Those are big indicators that what’s happening is seen as romantic and you can use that to make a good impression. Another thing to remember is that each girl is different and will be impressed by a different kind of first date. If you’re one of those people who found a girl on a dating site by looking at match ratings based on your personals, she might very well have listed in her profile what her ideal first date is. Use that to your advantage. If she didn’t happen to divulge that information, you can simply ask her. Maybe she has a favorite place to go in Saskatoon that would be just perfect for your first date. By asking, you will seem caring and sweet because you want to make sure that she has a good time. Don’t seem wishy washy, however, don’t make her plan it; just ask her if she has any input. When all else fails, look for a fun activity to do together like bowling or skating. This gives you something to do when conversation lags but it also leaves room for your connection to happen.
The Biggest Don’ts of All
As far as things to avoid for a first date, the list is really dependent on your situation, but there are some basic rules to follow. You do not want to meet anyone’s parents or family. Unless you already know them, that’s something way too personal for a first date. Plus, families aren’t sexy. If you want anything fun to happen at the end of the night, families are not a turn on. There are, of course, other people you should avoid. You shouldn’t talk about ex-girlfriends or girls that are friends. While there may genuinely be nothing happening there, if you spend the whole night talking about someone else, she’s going to wonder why you’re on a date with her at all. You should be focusing on getting to know one another, not regaling her with stories of other important women in your life. You also shouldn’t spend the whole night talking about your mother. Again, families just aren’t sexy. There are also general topics of conversation that you should avoid. You don’t want to talk about hot button, controversial issues. That means don’t talk about rape, abortion, religion, politics, or any other big news story that could send you two to polar opposite sides of any issue. Except for special circumstances, you should also avoid other people that either of you know. While this may not be a huge ‘NO’, it doesn’t really allow the two of you time to connect. Why go out with someone if you’re not hoping to connect with them. You could go on a double date with two of your friends, but that means she’s likely to feel like a third wheel the whole night. It’s best to save group or double dates for a little later on in the relationship when it’s actually worth introducing her to your friends. All in all, the most important things to remember are to behave and to be sweet. If you pay attention to her and throw in some romantic comedy leading man moves, you’re practically guaranteed a second date. Who knows, you might even get a little bonus at the end of your first date.