If you have been anywhere on the internet in the past year, you have probably witnessed the resurgence of the term friend zone into not only popular use, but popular derision. Why is that and what does it mean for guys looking for the top married dating site online? Well, the fact of the matter is being familiar not just with the term, but how women respond to it is going to help you not only anticipate how women frequently react to this term, but also where they might be coming from. As often as we prefer the refrain of not being like other guys and trying to highlight our good character, looks, and charm, the fact of the matter is we are not only competing with every man she has ever met, but that in most cases she is going to err on the side of caution and assume the worst until we prove our best.
What’s in a Name?
The term itself often brings up defensive urges and negative connotations from both sides. For us, it is typically a reminder of when we failed to get the response we want from someone that caught our eye. For women, however, it’s usually a distasteful reminder of everything they hate about the dating world. Friend zoning implies that we made the attempt to be nice in hopes of getting a romantic relationship with someone, but in the end, she was only interested in being friends. To her, however, it means that we pretended to be her friend when all we really wanted was to get in her pants. The truth, we’ve found, lies somewhere between the two.
Since the advent of sites like JustHookup.com, it has become increasingly difficult to apply this term outside of our face to face interactions with people. Obviously, if we’re meeting someone we found on the top married dating site, they aren’t going to mistake our interest as anything other than at least romantic if not sexual in nature. When it comes to the real world, however, that just frequently isn’t the case. Often this is because of how we feel we have to approach womenin order to get a chance at all. It’s a common myth that flirting and flattering her ruin our chances of ever getting with her romantically and that becoming her friend first is either required or increases our chances at all. The difference lies in the approach.
Announcing Your Intentions
The biggest point of debate is not whether she has the option of turning down our advances – obviously it is always up to her who she dates and sleeps with – but rather how the option of a romantic or sexual relationship is brought up. That is while men and women can have a friendship that develops into something more, entering into a friendship just to have a chance at something more is a really dumb and ultimately unfair thing to do, both to her and for you. One the one hand, you are putting all your eggs in one basket without knowing if it is going to get you anywhere, and setting you up for massive disappointment when it doesn’t work out. In her case, if you don’t approach having a relationship with her with clear intent for that to be romantic or sexual in nature, she is going to assume you actually want to be “just friends” and react accordingly. In either case, you are both setting yourself up for failure and probably ruining any friendship you built in the meantime.
The key here is broadcasting your interest from the get go. If you didn’t meet her on JustHookup.com you can’t assume that she is or is not interested in hooking up until you ask. If you did meet her from the site, then make sure it isn’t a scam. Read JustHookup Review: Read and Find Out if This Site Is a Scam. When it comes to affair dating, you don’t want to take a chance. Now, it is imperative that you announce your intentions from the start. You must make a statement or compliment her to show your interest. Sometimes just complimenting her with some charm and asking her out is the best thing you can do. If she turns you down, she’s saved you the time and effort you may have otherwise put into convincing her what an awesome guy you are and how well you get along prior to asking and being shut down a month or so later. If, however, you legitimately just think she is cool or interesting to be around, and still want to be friends, she will typically still be open to that option, so long as you don’t later use it as an excuse to ask her out. Once she turns you down, the ball is in her court, so let her decide if she is going to change her mind and drop it.
On the other hand, greeting her from the get go with clear intentions can turn out better for you anyway. She may just agree to a date or going out for drinks to get to know you. Chances are, she is going to appreciate the honesty in the approach a whole lot more than feeling betrayed when turning you down later results in a fit and a broken friendship. Remember that you are setting the stage for your interactions with her. If you approach her as a friend, she is going to accept you as a friend. If you approach her romantically, she will accept or decline as she prefers, but you might still have the option to be friends. In one case, she has the choice and in the other she feels betrayed and tricked out of it.
As Much as You Hate it, She Hates it More
Always remember that you can’t meet everyone in life by looking them up on the top married dating site and going from there. It’s all in how you approach the situation and frame the initial relationship. Passing off getting her comfortable with you as a friendship alone and then getting upset with her when she turns you down for something more doesn’t just affect the time, effort and money you may have put into something that didn’t give you the desired results. She also comes away with further evidence that she can’t just be friends with guys and to be even more suspicious of anyone trying to be nice and chat her up regardless of the location or situation.
Basically, the more you subscribe to the friend method of approaching a woman for an eventually romantic or sexual relationship, the more difficult you make this situation for yourself and others down the road. The best advice we can give is just don’t be that guy. Not only are you making everything worse for everyone involved, but you are treating someone you liked enough to want to get with like some sort of machine that input time and money and expect sex to come out. That’s not how relationships work. If you want to be with her you have to have that want as a person to a person, not as a person to a source of pleasure. So avoiding the friendzone becomes a simple practice of not being a jerk. Approach her with the relationship you want and accept a denial for what it is. Move in to the woman who actually wants to be around you and not only will she be happier, but so will you.